I’ve gone a bit Pam Ayres..apologies in advance J

Ahem:

I Wish, and All That

I wish I had a nicer house

Where I could put me things

Me thimbles, cherished teddies

And all me antique rings

I wish I had a swimming pool

Instead of me back yard

So I could wear me two piece

Me husband would be hard

I wish I had a better face

So men would look and lust

And while I’m thinking of it

I’d like a fuller bust

I wish I had a better brain

So I could sort out stuff

And come to some solution

Of things that are so tough

Like people out of work, you know

the ones that come for tea

they’d look like streaks of piss, you know

if it were not for me